Blog: Returning to HOME

Photo by Jassy Earl
Photo by Jassy Earl

by Luke Pell, Home Lab Leader

(Returning to) HOME

What is the weight of this word?

What was it, what is it, what could it be
How does home change, feel, get found, get made
From what

Is it made of things?

Of wood, of branch, of dirt, a box
Of stone, of sky, of stars
Of lines, in sand, in land, in time, across water

Is it made of skins?

Of flesh, of blood - beating in chest, a warm hand, your breath
A smile
or, something, hard, cold, closed, broken, gone, never was, never known

Does it come with…
To settle
To dwell
To be in residence

Here, I am at home, my most at home, amongst these people, like a pig in muck.
Why? In opening up a space of meeting, mattering, caring, laughing, loving, longing, listening, I heard myself say “home was some people who are not here anymore,” but they are close.

And these people are here. These people are near, nearer, now. Why? We walked and talked and ate and laughed and moved and cried, exploring the breadth of home, making new friends, new neighbours, thinking through our practice by doing, by playing, by getting in the messy bits and seeing what comes from asking questions of things we are passionate about, things we are perplexed by.

What is shelter, what is your refuge, why and if it has to change, what remains, what would - could you let go of?

Why make a nest?
To be warm, to be still, to be hidden, to be here
To rest, to lay-down, roots, to heal

Why make this nook?

To look out -in order to look in
To look in - in order to look out

A den, a lair, a cave, a pasture, a flat, surface, sheet, palm of hand, threshing, barn, burrow, ships, decking, mountain, floor.

Something temporary. It is all, temporary.

Where have you come from?
Where have you been?
Where will you go?

These constellations and convergences, loops of living, reaching, out, branching out, rooting


In a world
In a place
In company

This world, your worlds, our worlds, worlding, wording, calling things, naming things, sharing things, together, re-imagining, re-shaping, changing things.

Place making
Space making
Space taking

What does it take to feel at home in our own skins?

To have that gift, that privilege
And some space
Space between
The here and now and then to come

To leave
To go
To move

To say
Goodbye… for now

We made this, together:

Home was something I lost for a while

Home was a very lonely place

Home was nature

Home was some people who are no longer here

Home was something I carried with me

Home was something that ended and has begun again

Home was an object, my backpack, which I lived out of, but it’s not anymore

Home was always being on the move

Home was something I couldn’t grasp and now home is something I can grasp a little bit more

Home is the story between the coming and the going and the toing and the froing

Home is food and people and nature

Home is a feeling of safety, warmth and it’s my family

Home is belonging

Home is very distant

Home is my parent’s house

Home is being comfortable in yourself, with yourself

Home is a notebook filled with ideas, concepts and new challenges

Home is a choice

Home is this PUSHplus family

Home is right here

Home is finding a way, a pace, a start

Home is leaning into, speeding up, and letting go

Home is making space, some people will follow the rules, other people will make their own

We seek to find home together

Home could be something that is not static, something that you bring with you

Home could be something we are all able to create for each other

Home could be anything I want it to be

Home could be a cat that I didn’t think I’d like

I wish, that I remember how it’s all felt and that it stays close with me

I wonder if I’ll ever find home

I wish, the world was always like the last eight days and people from all over the world, could feel the love and generosity we all felt towards one another and feel really happy about that, and I wonder if that’s possible, I wonder if that’s home. I wonder if that feeling of love and connectivity with strangers, who stop being strangers after a while, I wonder if that’s what home, is.

(Returning to) HOME - A reflection from PUSHPlus Home Lab Leader Luke Pell closed with the closing reflection of the participants