By Stina Strange Thue, Failure Lab participant
DEAR LIGHT OF CALAMITIES
HELP ME TO FAIL
PLEASE JUST LET ME FAIL AND FALL
SO AT LEAST I DO NOT FAIL AT BEING ABLE TO FAIL
surrounding me is alterating cracks and people are running through them to get out into light
they think
they run into light
but all is dark and light did not turn on just because you ran out
on the underside of my cranium heavy heaven is hanging
rain drips
creating lakes in the bottom of my mouth
there is too much water around my tongue
and here is a void emptiness
echoing in my skull
water runs like enormous rivers
down my throat
and I am choked in my own self
echo is not here
instead I drown open eyed in my own mouth
and I just float and watch the scenery
curious
observing my own drowning
I
do
nothing
and on the first floor the sky is dripping in my mouth
my cranium floating beautifully out my right ear
and it is empty
so
I try
to do something
but what do you do when you fail at being empty
and fail at being full
in the same hour
what do you do
DEAR LIGHT OF CRISIS
HELP ME TO FAIL
PLEASE JUST LET ME FAIL AND FALL
SO AT LEAST I DO NOT FAIL AT BEING ABLE TO FAIL
outside my white framed windows I observe wandering human beings
so I wonder
where do you wander
do you wander to the small openings of the clouds
desperately hoping that sun streams shall pass
screams are shouting
streams are screams from opening of the grey
in that case let the cover of clouds stay dense
density is like a stone
holding my heart
crush
crushed it beats
into stiff arms where the strokes of heart are covered in soft cotton
I do not feel
so I do not act
because I can´t
and it is empty
but what do you do when you fail at being empty
and fail at hearing the pulse
in the same hour
what do you do
DEAR LIGHT OF CATASTROPHE
HELP ME TO FAIL
PLEASE JUST LET ME FAIL AND FALL
SO AT LEAST I DO NOT FAIL AT BEING ABLE TO FAIL
a shield of air cells follows me like a not getting rid of annoying child
always
judging eyes hang without a body in this shield
they persistently observe me
the eyes
they do not own a mind
so they do not get through
the water full
the empty
the heart stop density
so I try
I try again
to
do
nothing
just something
to fracture the bones that crept out of my skin to lie there like an outside skeleton bone cage
on me
and the air shield cells flutter in my filled up empty body of flesh
so I cut of my hair
in that commercial way of a kliché
at least
I
do
something
and let it fall
the hair
I mean
Stina Strange Thue is an artistic producer and dancer (with DeLeónCompany). Stina took part in the Failure Lab in Belgium, September 2019. You can read about her here.
The photo used is by Marianne Villadsen from the performance “out of DUST” by DeLeónCompany under the artistic direction and production of Jens Schyth Brøndum and Stina Strange Thue.
